Thursday, May 14, 2009

public enemy number one:

Several of you public commoners, may already be all too aware of the latest public enemy. The disturbing thing about this enemy group is the fact that the members are so young; as to promote guerrilla war fare undoubtedly (not be confused with 'gorilla warfare' which is equally disturbing).
Our dear President and CBO (chief bailout officer) recently visited middle-school aged children at Maple Crest Middle School for what was supposed to be a 'pickup' game of basketball. Instead we were left with the above shocking footage, and even more shocking still shots from that footage below:
These anarchists posing as middle school children have really gone too far; especially the slightly overweight blonde child that insists on getting his hands on B.O.
("He was getting all up in his grill"-says chief s.a.p.y. correspondent)
Their lack of respect for the President, America, and the great game of pickup basketball are truly horrifying.

That is why I have put the children of Maple Crest Middle School on the top of my public enemy list. Perhaps we should re-look into strategizing children as our future, as so far they have done nothing but illegal blocks and technical fouls.

I regret to inform you commoners of this type of information, but it is just because I care so much.

Stay Sexy America.

president in training:


Stephanie said...

I think those children at Maple Crest Middle School just put our national terror level at red. SHAME.ON.THEM!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Ha, that's pretty funny.

*JessiJo* said...


This is NO laughing matter, America! Thank you for bringing this threat to the nations attention! You are a true and honorable citizen!!

Kelsey K. Hartley said...

I've missed reading your stuff. Keep it comin'

Louise | said...

Aww.. I can't see the photos too clearly...
But did you just call those middle schoolers anarchists?! Haha!

This is an issue of national concern. :D